let the balloon free

I'm felt soooo DOWN nowdays. Dah lame tak sakit pale mcm mlm nie. At 1st aku pk kn bnde nie skit2 jew. But then, i thingking bout it seriously. Aku nmpk org lain sekeliling aku (school mmbr) happy wif their life. I'm happy wif ma life too. Tak der ape yg kurang. But then, bile bukak psl 1 topic nie. . .aku diam. Diam sbb tak der ape nk disharekan. Rasa2 u all taw ape topiknye. Sejak bbrape taon nie, aku tak serious utk syg sesape (i mean for a guy). Ade org syg aku, tapi aku bnci giler kat org tu. Ade org syg aku, tp aku tak boleh syg die lebih dari seorang kwn. And the worst is, aku syg sngt2 kat someone, tp that guy. . .That guy tak syg aku. Haiisshh!!

Mybe aku ptt blajar utk menyanyangi org yg syg kat aku tu kan?? Mom pown ckp, "akak, syg org yg syg kat kite. Jgn syg someone yg kite tak taw die syg kite or tak." Tu larr nasihat mak. Tp. . .bukan sng nk buang prasaan yg t'simpan bbrape taon nie. Kenapa die bole ckp that love words to me. But then, it dissapear. And then sometimes that love words come again. And dissapear again. Arrgghh!! Kenapa larr aku ssh sngt nk syg someone ea?? Seriously, dah bbrape taon nie aku tak bole syg someone dgn ikhlas. Coz aku juz leh syg die sorang jew. Tapi die. . .

Aku rase b'slh dgn org2 nk syg aku, yg prnh luah prasaan kat aku. Sory guys, aku tak boleh pkse diri nie utk trime u all. Tp now aku rase, dh smpai masenye kowt aku blajar utk syg org yg syg aku, 'wif clear". Lpskan smthng yg tak pasti, and trime smthng yg dh nyata.

A or S. Dekat atau jauh. Pasti atau tak pasti.

p/s: Now i admit what 'S' has wrote at his FB; people change. So do i. Juz dont blame it on me.